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saturnaftertaste · 6 months ago

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I would like to hear your hirarchie opinions!

oh anon, you’re too sweet. you do spoil me so ♡

so, my take on hirarchie?

look. as a feminist, my first thought in the archie-ronnie-hiram subplot/relationship triangle will always be veronica. as such, my thoughts on hirarchie come from the angle of thinking about veronica, who is a very interesting figure in the case of the Jughead-Narrated Riverdale Universe.

first of all - veronica is a legacy outsider to Riverdale. i’ve mentioned this before, but out of s1’s protagonist cast, ronnie was the only one to not be white. not only this, but hiram’s history itself starts outside of riverdale. unlike betty | alice, archie | fred, cheryl | penelope, jughead | fp, veronica | hiram do not have history here. in fact, archie, betty, jughead, and cheryl all have direct ancestors who landed in riverdale in 1580 - i.e. as per colonial “american” practice, the town was “built” by them and their descendants.

so what role do the lodges play in all of this? the blossoms are rich, the andrews’ are good, the coopers are cunning and the joneses write the history, so what role do the lodges play in the existence of riverdale? are they even necessary for that existence? my point is this - nothing happens in riverdale until a lodge shows up.

think about it! we’ve seen riverdale prime start up twice - once in season 1, once in season 7. a lot of people pin jughead’s narration from s1 on jason blossom’s death (“little miss inciting incident”) but my take on this is that the starting point of any riverdale story is the entrance of a lodge. one of my main riverdale theories is that while the events of s1-4 are narrated by jughead, s5-7 are original written pieces by jughead within the meta of the river-verse. as given in the canon, jughead is not a very good writer - so to keep riverdale afloat from s5-7, the stories he tells are essentially ripped off from the first four of seasons, remixed and then re-presented: hence, when s7 starts in the 50s, it starts on the day when veronica comes to town, just like s1, except there is no murder; jason blossom doesn’t exist.

what does this have to do with archie? good question. i’m getting there (i promise. i hope).

this post by @/wallbeatjournal talks about how just because archie and hiram aren’t related, it doesn’t make it any less incestuous. that is what got me thinking about the riverdale citizens’ roles in their society. as the town pares down in terms of citizens, season by season, and the “following in. families’ footsteps” themes become more and more in-your-face, one must question the cycles and where they came from. interestingly enough, the modern-day riverdalians are 1-to-1 copies of their ancestors, with a specific focus on gender. the farthest ancestors shown are not patriarchal heads of houses— instead you have: asher andrews, blessing cooper, james jones, charity blossom. obviously, we do not know if these are “true”; as per my personal theory, this is all jughead making filler backstory for s6 bc he’s alone and trapped in an empty bunker trying to power a dead universe for himself. however, the genders and the naming conventions match our current protagonists. moving forward in time and referencing the parents of the riverdale citizens, all of them who have a historical colonial ancestor become one of their parents, usually looking like one of them as well, despite the end goal being to break out of their cycles of perpetual violence; usually, the parent they become is the one they share a gender with:

betty is the “gang leader’s girlfriend/perfect small-town girl/thrill-seeking investigator” -> all roles alice has occupied, in that order. notice how despite hal’s attempted influence on her, she does not become a serial killer.

jughead is the “writer/gang leader/scholarship kid/alcoholic” -> roles both F.P and his grandfather occupied. he is incapable of leaving riverdale permanently, like F.P., but unlike gladys who left prior to any inciting incident.

cheryl is the “alive half of a pair/center of tragedy/repressed rich kid/witch” -> roles occupied by penelope blossom as more of the story is unveiled, reflecting cheryl’s life? or cheryl reflecting penelope? (remember, clifford blossom dies before s1 is up, so in this way, jason and clifford match in that they are the Dead ones.)

(remember, this is all through the jughead lens, so it’s all subjective. anyway)*

so where does that leave archiekins and veronica?

veronica is interesting, like i said before. she has no colonial ancestor; her ties to riverdale do not extend beyond hiram’s own. in fact, you could say that veronica and hiram have no ties to riverdale at all, since it was jaime luna that came to riverdale, and hiram lodge who left to manhattan after he married hermione.

veronica is also interesting in that she’s the only one out of the main cast to not be the same gender as her primary-complex-relationship parent. although hiram is not present for season 1, most of veronica’s conflict still stems from his existence as her father. veronica is a girl, yet she does not resemble hermione in her riverdale role**; she is her father’s daughter, constantly actively fighting him while mirroring his own traits. the owning of businesses, the murderous intent, the guns for hire (reggie, circa s3?) thé illegal activity? the mob interactions? she is not a gangster’s moll like hermione ends up as; she is the gangster. remember that episode when they all got sent to therapy in the guise of “college counseling” in their senior year? it’s openly stated that one interpretation of hiram and veronica’s relationship is combative, and that hiram doesn’t see her as an extension of himself, but rather an outside agent who might take his place (hence veronica has to “beat” him to win.)

all this to say that the lodges are, on a narrative level, instigators. (the party don’t start till i walk in! - veronica lodge, 2017) not the blossoms. veronica comes to town, and the story starts. hiram comes to town, and veronica and hiram start fighting on various battlegrounds, for some unnamed, constantly shifting purpose. the lodges do not belong in riverdale, and the story is aware of this, but the story/the town also knows that it cannot exist in reality without the lodges jumpstarting it’s existence. only one lodge can bring back the other (veronica in riverdale brings hiram to riverdale; hiram’s nefarious plans for sunnydale truly bring veronica back to riverdale); only one lodge can get rid of the other (hiram attempts to send veronica to harvard, veronica chases him out of town with the shotgun AND orders a hit on him), and yet - the town needs one lodge to keep things moving (the juvenile prison, the speakeasy under pops. the sunnydale development project, the babylonium) the lodges are the only access to growth and change the town has. otherwise, it sits on its haunches, repeatedly producing people who are named like their ancestors and look&behave like their parents.

all except for one person; the one person who becomes the rope in the lodges’ metaphorical game of tug-of-war.

see, archie, through the jughead lens, is special. archie is complex. where everyone else has to be bent to fit a stereotype (girl next door, rich girl, tragic victim, mindless jock, gay best friend), jughead’s narration expands to fill in the gaps about archie (he was a victim? he was clout-chasing football star? a musician? a folk hero?every government service? he fought a bear???) archie, i think, is the only one he allows free will/choices—archie is his protagonist, so he must have a story, but also is the object of his affection. hence, archie “tries” to be like his perception of his father (“good” “kind”, “strong”, male) but often ends up behaving like his mother (leaves people, bisexual***, protective, desperate for the american dream****, redheaded) while also making other choices - presumably, those choices were based in the reality that jughead is recording from s1-s4, and everyone’s actions around archie’s choices are folded into their characters to the fit the stereotypes and story arcs they inhabit.

so what happens when an instigator meets the only other person in their path who has free will? when veronica comes into contact with archie, she jumpstarts the betty/archie thing that supposedly has been simmering for years. when hiram comes into contact with archie, archie unlocks a new ability to take matters into his own hands. veronica consistently enables the choices that archie makes, whether good or bad, and hiram constantly unlocks new levels of action in archie, whether good or bad.

hiram’s influence on archie is obviously paralleled with hiram’s own story, but instead of inflicting it on his daughter who he comes into conflict with, he tries to instigate new levels of action from archie. i think if hiram had had a son, riverdale as a story would cease to exist because the point of lodges, (and i do mean lodges, not lunas) is to be different, even to each other - hence them creating change. riverdale’s near-all-white population in hiram’s years? he moves there, and now the town has someone new and different to them in poverty. his daughter comes to riverdale, and all of a sudden the entire social balance and relationship structures of the town’s youth are upended, because she’s new and different to them and rich. he becomes a lodge; she becomes a luna. he pushes archie to take action (i.e, red circle); she takes actions for archie (raising money for the community center). if veronica had been a son, chances are he would’ve followed so completely in hiram’s steps that he wouldn’t have come to riverdale at all.

why else would they fight as equals? only one of them can be in riverdale at a time. otherwise, they cancel out - hiram puts archie in prison, ronnie gets him out. hiram buys pop’s? ronnie buys pop’s back. and so on and so forth.

hirarchie exists and functions because hiram is one of the only two factors the town can rely on for any kind of change, and archie is jughead’s clumsy (remember he’s a bad writer!) projection of the town’s soul onto his best friend; thus archie is at the mercy of the lodges because the town wishes to express itself through a story, and a story requires conflict, something that cannot be produced without the presence of an outsider.

*the jughead lens is both misogynistic and apathetic but most importantly it’s simplistic. jughead himself does not make it as a writer in nyc beyond his one book - this is because he is unable to write characters that cannot eventually be folded into one-dimensional tropes that are very obviously props for his own opinions and desires.

**side note: while hermione does not have any ancestors mentioned in historical riverdale, someone matching a younger version of her/teenage veronica does exist in rivervale. this, along with teenage hermione’s description of her mother’s job cleaning houses in the “midnight club” episode, establishes that hermione may have been here longer than hiram — and yet, veronica only follows hiram’s patterns, not hermione or her unnamed grandmothers’.

***bisexuality is presumed on account of the interest-in-reggie-and-jughead sub?text and the absence-is-presence of jarchie in the polycule from s7.

****it is implied that mary explores her sexuality after she leaves fred (at least, that’s how i remember it, please correct me if i’m wrong) and the marrying fred and settling into the american dream as fast as possible draws parallels with archie being desperate to maintain “normal” - the wedding fantasies with veronica in s2, the trying to make it work with betty in s5, the insistence on a baby in s6 - this, apart from the red hair, is the greatest similarity archie has with his mother.

#i am. so sorry anon. i don’t think this is what you asked for #riverdale #hirarchie #hirarchie renaissance #archie andrews #hiram lodge #veronica lodge #dawn rants #thanks for the ask!#hiramaissance

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james-stark-the-writer · 2 months ago

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riverdalians, i have deeply disappointing news. the new Super Eyepatch Wolf Riverdale video.... does not Get It.

i mean it's a rough video on its lonesome too, repeating far too much of stuff he already covered in the first video, but it also doesn't really come to any point. honestly, it just seems incoherent at times. but like. the big crime is that he doesn't Get It. like i understand his frustrations with season 7, i share many of them too, but honestly, as sacrilegious as it may sound, it commits some of the same Art Sins as the FSN video (especially as far as treating Riverdale as trying to say something like John does try to find some meaning at the end but he misses the most obvious thing which is really infuriating. like to an extent it's cultural differences, but then again it's also not my culture that's being deconstructed and i got it so i don't know what to tell you, especially bc Riverdale is not remotely subtle about its deconstructions.), like he brings up plot points that are clearly About something and then just... doesn't confront them. like he clearly points out things like how Percival is old and has been around for a long time and how he's corrupting the soul of the town and basically doing a genocide and is from a long line of genociders and how he is the embodiment of evil but he never connects all those to understand that season 6 is critiquing white supremacy (especially given that Riverdale is not a subtle show, like they are very explicit in their political critiques. i do not understand how he could possibly miss that unless he wasn't paying attention and treating it as actual art.), and that season 7 is a very normal lead into it. like yeah i have critiques of season 7 and their approach to tackling racial issues, but it's very clearly leaning further into the deconstruction that the show is doing. like i'm just so stunned he didn't Get It.

fuck, he doesn't even talk about the fucking series finale! which i feel like is a perfect encapsulation of what he finds fascinating in media. like, after his Garfield video, i thought he would get the haunting, horrific implications of the series finale, but he doesn't even talk about it! yeah. there's just no finale section. he just stops talking about the show at the penultimate episode while clearly playing clips from the finale, and he doesn't talk about the finale, which is so baffling to me that i cannot even fathom that this video was meant to be released. genuinely feel like half the video is missing. what the hell, John. i don't think there's a third video coming so it all honestly just seems like a waste. like in some ways, i guess if his Big Point is that the show is incoherent (which tbh is one of the weakest and most wrong criticisms of Riverdale? like, Riverdale will sometimes have you questioning why something was executed the way it was, or why a certain choice was made. but it's not a hard show to follow. it's not incoherent. you just have to pay attention. because it's a dense show. it's very plot-heavy, so you have to be paying attention. yeah sometimes characters flip about, but there's always a base status-quo as a touchstone for categorizing and explaining their behavior, and if you put aside the motivations the literal events are extremely simple to understand. like seriously it's very easy to follow when you actually have context and aren't listening to random plot points decontextualized in a YouTube video that is less than 1/100th of the runtime of the actual show.) and pointless, making the video incoherent and pointless is like, interesting, and tries to mimic the meta characteristics of the show, but it doesn't make for a particularly fun video to watch, and it also is not like giving the show enough credit as a piece of art, so it's just really irritating as a whole.

genuinely so sad about this lol, like i knew from the first one that a lot of his enjoyment was from the outrageous moments and that he probably wouldn't love season 7 but i didn't think he would just completely miss the point this hard. also the way that he understands that Season 4 was filmed during the pandemic but doesn't understand that the first four episodes of Season 5 are actually part of Season 4? baffling. genuinely so many questionable decisions in that video. i do not understand it. i just. i'm so tired of everyone not getting the most blatant fucking Art that's extremely obvious about what it's doing. Riverdale is not hard to Get and the amount of people i've seen blatantly miss the point is really, genuinely scary in terms of media literacy. like jesus, how could you miss the point of Riverdale S06 and how it connects to S07. how is that even possible. did you watch it with your eyes closed, John.

#james talks #riverdale #the most disappointed i've been since The News #like i was actually so looking forward to this #super eyepatch wolf #well. it's done now.#i guess we wait a year for the lily simpson video to drop for S06 and S07 and see if they Get It.

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jugheadvarchoni · 4 months ago

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Love of my fucking LIFE. Gawdddd 😵‍💫

@lgbtqcreators event 22 — lgbtq+ joy + lgbtq creator meme: [2/10] lgbtq+ characters

I have a rapturous girlfriend, total independence, a 4.0 and amazing hair. CHERYL BLOSSOM in RIVERDALE (2017-2023)

#cheryl blossom #riverdalians unite #follow me riverdalians #riverdalians #riverdale #will I never NOT be obsessed with her????#lesbian #my goddamn queen forever and ever and ever

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mrcowboydeanwinchester · 1 year ago

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🔪 Revenge for Dummies 💋

jomeg fic - 10k - rating: T - high school AU - 2stab2fest - read on ao3

“You said it yourself that being lesbian has novelty value! So it is a popularity move!” Meg shrieks. With blood smeared across her face and eyes wild with the power of standing on a table in two inch heels, she looks demonic. She looks incredible, Jo thinks. She looks like royalty. “We are being QUEERBAITED."

Jo is the queen bee of Midwest High, all until Meg steals the throne by claiming Jo is queerbaiting the school. What follows is the epic tale of Jo’s homoerotic revenge mission. It’s about girlhood and popularity and lesbianism and being a batshit insane 16 year old—with a knife!

written for the brilliantly run 2stab2fest and accompanied by gorgeous art from @keikakudom !!

chapter 1 of 5 below cut!

High School 101

Though it might’ve come as a shock to her 10 year old self, at 16, Jo Harvelle’s life is one long chick-flick moment. We’re talking resident queen bee of Midwest High with a side-dish of blonde bombshell best served hot. She rules alongside her best friend and loyal confidant Claire Novak, and their passionate alliance is founded on the fact they met in the opening weeks of middle school, when Claire found Jo reading Beginner’s Book to Blade Wielding in the quietest corner of the library and asked if she could read it with her.

It therefore may come as a surprise to some that Jo and Claire have ascended the ranks of social status with such ease and grace. Stabby lesbians with dearly departed daddys don’t often tend to work the runways of high school popularity, after all, but the facts of the matter fall like this: Jo has always been an outcast, but now she gets to be distant in the way royalty is and not in the way lepers are. Like, untouchable, but make it chic.

The lesbian thing turns out to be pretty helpful too. Jo and Claire are known for their Biker Barbie lesbian swag, which, at Midwest High, provides the perfect intersection of gender. The boys are into their leather jackets, but Jo and Claire don’t want them back, and the girls crave their nonchalantly fashionable attitude, so Jo and Claire can bask in their heterosexually-awed stares. It’s a perfectly measured concoction of being the most beautiful girls in the whole school but not doing it for the guys. Jo and Claire simply aren’t like other girls, and so all the other girls want to be like them.

So animal skin, pop-punk listening habits, and blonde hair. Paired with the incomprehensible fact they are two sapphic best friends who aren’t in love with each other, the whole school is pliant under their sweet and unbothered thumbs. Claire even had the incredible idea to glue Biker Barbie in pink rhinestones to the backs of their matching leather jackets. They are an inseparable gang of two and they rule the school, stomping past lockers and lesser students in matching black leather jackets, ripped jeans, and gleaming Doc Martens.

And it’s a fucking difficult life.

That’s Jo, right there, the protagonist of our Riverdalian love story.

Yeah, hi, it’s me. And let me tell you, the pressures of being the lesbian leader of hundreds of high school aged monstrosities are pretty near infinite. Firstly, I’m 16. I’ve never even kissed a girl, and somehow being one of the first kids in my grade to come out means I’m some dykey messiah. It’s a pretty impressionable age to be seen as a sexuality first and a person second.

Secondly, everyone in this place is like, stinking rich. Yachts and lawyers and mansions abound and so nobody can ever know me and mom scrape by living above a literal bar. All the rich kids have aloof, only vaguely invested parents, so they can do what they want, but I’m cursed with a mom who loves me and so is ridiculously interested (read: controlling) in my life. It’s just a shame my dad makes up for this by not being interested enough, in that he is dead.

Finally, amid the other infinite reasons why maintaining my monarchal image is hellishly hard, I’m not obliviously iconic like Cher from Clueless. I’m not just some dumb box bleach blonde—I’m the girl who’s making ‘freak with the knife collection’ work for her. That’s a hard line to walk. It’s a fucking tightrope. And I’ve been walking it for years.

On the topic of walking, another of our story’s featured cast is now strutting into view. We’re alongside Jo and Claire in the cafeteria at lunch, gazing down on the masses of normies from the heights of the exclusive Royal Banqueting Table. Popularity is performance, and so the Royal Banqueting Table is the only one in the cafeteria on a raised bit of floor. It’s a stage, essentially; it’s like sitting in the royal box or the back of the bus.

And through the maze of tables, past the nerds and the basketball team and the theater kids—this is a high school, after all—Meg Masters and The Rubies are winding their way towards Jo and Claire. Jo’s hackles raise at the sight of them, and she points them out to Claire with a nudge and a roll of her eyes.

Meg Masters is just like the other girls. She wears tight dresses and little tops and buys all-natural avocado shampoo which has the word ‘organic’ on the bottle but which her daddy flies in from Hawaii. She is rich rich, with the kind of house so big her parents keep their sailing boat in the front garden. But with the hordes of hell hounds baying for blood at the grand entrance of the passcode protected gates, it’s not like anyone at Midwest High has ever gotten the chance to really see it.

Well, anyone at Midwest High apart from Jo.

Because Jo and Meg had been best friends once upon a time, back in kindergarten and elementary school, in that squishy age where time isn’t real but friends are. They had been everything to each other, vowing solemnly at sleepovers never to lose the friendship which was blossoming so pure between them.

It wasn’t pure, Meg dropped me the second she got the chance to. The instant we reached high school, the ties were cut.

Jo doesn’t remember exactly how their friendship ended, she just knows it hurt her more than anything else ever has.

Shut up, I remember it. Meg was a bitch. I guess some girls are just built different: she went out shopping with her flaky new rich friends, and me and Claire built a small empire.

It is perhaps pertinent to mention here that while Jo is a very self-aware lesbian, she hasn’t quite mastered the art of feminism yet. She is only 16, after all.

Meg has equipped herself with new friends since the disintegration of her friendship with Jo, and these new friends take the form of The Rubies. If Meg keeps hell hounds at home, The Rubies are the demonic little chihuahuas who cling to her heels at school. Ruby 1 and Ruby 2 are essentially indifferentiable apart from the fact that Ruby 1 is blonde, with mean little bangs, and Ruby 2 is a pissy brunette. Underneath the skin they are both the same: shallow, devilish girls who delight in igniting chaos and looking good while doing it. So while the words Meg and The Rubies sound like a spunky indie girl band, the reality is that they are beautiful, invulnerably rich teens who love nothing better than making everyone else’s life hell.

“Meg and The Rubies at 12 o’clock,” Claire announces to the table.

The royal court of Bela Talbot, Rowena MacLeod, and Billie (nobody knows their last name, in the same way nobody knows Adele’s or Madonna’s—you simply don’t need to) chorus a sympathetic sigh. They are staples of the Royal Banquet Table, being more loyal to the power of The Table than to the current monarchy itself, and so Jo and Claire tolerate them. Rowena’s basically a witch, and Bela’s English, and Jo is pretty sure Billie could strangle her with their bare hands and she’d say thank you, so. It’s not like they’re unattractive company.

Besides, there’s another member of the table Jo is more concerned with.

Dean Winchester leans over to Jo, and in a rarely captured example of sensible advice, says, “ignore them, Jo, they’re not worth your time.”

Dean Winchester is different to Bela, Rowena, and Billie. He makes Jo’s very lesbian brain come to an unwilling and baffling stop. She looks into his dewy green eyes and she hears white noise. He’s a senior, and he exclusively wears his dad’s too-big leather jacket because he thinks it makes him look cool (it kinda does) and Jo would die before admitting that sometimes it feels like no one else’s opinion of her in the whole world matters apart from his.

Hey, fuck off! My feelings about Dean Winchester are perfectly normal.

“Yeah, you too,” Jo replies to Dean. And conversation is a subjective artform, but that is not the correct response to Dean’s previous statement.

Dean smiles at Jo anyway, like she’s somehow fun to be around, and she’s glad that if being the Teen Queen of the school gets her anything, it’s this. Dean hangs out with them some days, when he feels like it. Mostly he hangs out in the school’s garage working on cars, and more recently he’s been spending time in the gardens with the new transfer student Clarence.

My gaydar senses something is up there, by the way.

Jo is at least right about that.

Noice.

But as much as Jo tries to take Dean’s surprisingly sensible advice to ignore Meg and The Rubies, this is proves a lot more difficult than expected when Meg stalks over to the Royal Banqueting Table, steps up on the bench and onto the table itself, and lands the heels of her two inch stilettos right into the bread of Jo’s sandwich.

Jo peers up past the ankle—plump and solid—up the shin—shaved smooth and speckled strawberry—to the thigh—soft and fleshy—and then almost but not quite up her teeny tiny silky skirt.

“The fuck are you doing? Get your weirdly impractical shoes out of my sandwich stat, Masters,” Jo growls.

“Sorry, Josephine, no can do,” Meg says, her dainty lips curling maliciously around her words.

“You know that’s not my name.”

“Oh, is it not? That fact must have walked out of my brain the day you walked out of my life.”

Jo scoffs. “The day I walked out on you?”

“Okay, Meg, get off the table and stop making a scene,” Dean cuts in, trying to stench the flow of petty words before the drama dam bursts. He is unsuccessful.

Meg smiles. “Sorry, Deano. I have an announcement to make, and this table is my stage.” Her voice is rich as honey but dangerous as dart frog venom.

It is then that Jo sees the Gucci megaphone clutched in Meg’s perfectly manicured hands.

This is so not groovy.

“Hear ye, hear ye,” she begins before Claire can swipe the megaphone out of her hands and Dean can try and defuse the situation further. The Rubies are now standing either side of the Royal Banqueting Table like femme-fatale bouncers, effectively immobilizing the royal court.

The whole cafeteria falls obediently silent. Somewhere among the fringe groups, a phone buzzes, and is quickly stifled.

“I know we’re all obsessed with Jo and Claire, our Biker Barbies. They’re the reigning queens of our little high school, right? And what do we love them for? Their cutesy little rhinestone jackets, their perfectly blonde hair? Their lesbian swag?”

Jo and Claire exchange perturbed looks. Around the cafeteria, students are nodding affirmatively; if this is Meg trying to start a Les Mis style anti-monarchy rebellion, she’s gonna have to go a little more opera.

“But what if I told you that having matching Hobby-Lobby jackets isn’t the flex you think it is? What if I told you that they bleach their hair to make it that color?”

An uneasy muttering sweeps across the hall, and Jo suddenly realizes: Meg is working up to something.

What if she tells them about how I live above a creepy bar? What if she tells them about the dusty-ass van mom drives me halfway to school in? What if she tells them about how invested my mother is in my life and wellbeing and how weird it is that there’s only a twenty year age gap between us and that sometimes I feel more like I’m living in a documentary about troubled young women rather than a chick-flick movie?

“What if I told you that little Joey here isn’t a real lesbian?”

Jo almost spits out her water, the laugh comes out of her so hard. “What? Come on, jello-head, I’ve been averting my eyes from lingerie stores since I came out the womb.”

“Is that so, Harvelle?” Meg sings, and her eyes flash obsidian. “Because I have it on good authority that you, self-proclaimed cowgirl and lover of posse, have a crush on Dean Winchester.”

Suddenly everything about the situation is a lot less funny. The room erupts riotously, screeches of jeers and laughter echoing across the hall. Jo feels the blood rush to her face hard and fast, much like how she imagines an erection might feel if it was brought on by intense shame. Next to her, Dean’s minty eyes are wide and staring. She flinches away from him like his touch might corrupt her all-important lesbianism.

“No, I don’t!” Jo cries. Her voice goes unheard over the chaos of the hall.

“Awh,” Meg sighs, pouting down patronizingly at where Jo is now shaking with rage in her seat, “that’s exactly what someone with a massive crush on Dean Winchester would say.”

“You can’t just say she’s not a lesbian, only she can say that!” Claire screams indignantly. She scrambles up beside Meg before The Rubies can pull her down and wrestles the megaphone from her hands, giving her a solid elbow to the nose as she does so. Meg’s head ricochets back and her nose bursts, bloody in her hands.

“Shut up!” Claire bellows into the megaphone. Her cry rebounds across the far wall of the cafeteria at such a volume several kids covered their ears, and the hall falls sheepishly silent a second time. A few whispers snake across the air, though, and Jo feels her kingdom slip a little further from her grasp. “Use your brains, boneheads. As if Jo would lie about being a lesbian. Where’s the fun in that? This butt-crazy bitch just wants what we have and you can’t let her lap it up.”

“You can’t call me a bitch, that’s misogynistic!”

“You can’t call Jo straight, that’s homophobic!”

Oh, fuck. As much as I like to channel Taylor Swift, I don’t think I can come back from the Q word like she can.

And so that is the day that Jo and Claire lose the Teen Queen crown; that is the day the Biker Barbies’ heads feel the cold sharp cut of the guillotine. Meg and The Rubies are the new reigning monarchs of Midwest High.

#seeing as ao3 is down right now here is the first chapter to tide you all over !!#add this to your festive season reading list it is very silly and fun i promise <3 #jomeg #jo harvelle #meg masters #sapphicnatural #spn fic #ola writes

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findmeinpops · 6 years ago

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FindMeInPops 12 Days of Christmas 🎄

Day Eleven - “I have a decoration in my bathroom. It’s a snowman holding a plunger and it makes stupid bathroom-christmas related puns. ‘Ho ho ho, whose gotta go?’”

“I’m sorry to leave you so early.” Veronica finished the last of her hot cocoa before picking up the card Betty gave her and putting it in her bag. “I just need to give Archie a hand putting the kids to bed and-”

“Don’t worry about it!” Betty insisted, helping Ronnie with her coat. “I’ve got someone coming over anyway.”

“On Christmas Eve? How romantic.” She mused, doing the buttons up on her coat.

“Not really,” Betty opened the front door, “I just normally binge tv and drink wine. Christmas is overrated anyway.”

“Suit yourself.” She embraced Betty, kissing each cheek before stepping onto the doorstep. “Call me if you need anything and have an amazing Christmas tomorrow!”

“You too Vee.” After giving another wave, she shut the door. Then it was time to cook dinner.

The doorbell rang at exactly 8pm. She had been reluctant to invite him over, dating had never really worked for Betty. The guys she had dated were either so boring she struggled to not fall asleep during the conversations they had or absolute douchebags - there seemed to be no in between. However, her mother had been going on at her about ‘finding a man’ and she figured one date every few months would be enough to satiate Alice Cooper. Never anything expensive, always dinner at her house and (if they were lucky) a film afterwards - but that didn’t happen often. Betty liked being alone. To her, it was better to be capable, independent and single rather than being in a relationship and having to deal with another person’s drama. Life was less complicated alone.

Untying her sauce-covered apron, she rushed to fix her hair before answering the door.

“Ho, ho, ho!” Her date stood on the doorstep proudly holding a bottle of wine. He was a little smarter than the photo on his profile. Clearly, he had just had his hair cut which is why it was looking far more tamed and he was wearing a shirt covered in mini Christmas puddings.

“Jughead?” She asked tentatively, motioning for him to come inside. He planted a kiss on her cheek before handing the wine to her.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Is that a nickname or…” Betty felt a little rude asking.

“Nickname but I’ve just always been called it - not really sure why.” He unzipped his jacket and Betty gladly took it from him, hanging it on the banister.

“Ah, okay.” The awkwardness was tangible and Betty was already regretting her choice.

“So,” Jughead attempted to make conversation as he followed her through to the kitchen, “is there a law that only applies to you?”

“Huh?”

“You have no lights up, no decorations, no nothing - is there a law against your house?” Whilst he joked, he watched over the food, giving it a quick stir whilst Betty got the plates out.

“I have a decoration in my bathroom, if that’s any consolation,” she replied, “it’s a snowman holding a plunger and it makes stupid bathroom-Christmas related puns. ‘Ho ho ho, whose gotta go?’”

“Don’t joke about that.” He quipped back, pointing a large serving spoon at her. “That would be amazing and I 100% would buy that.”

Betty started giggling and for the first time that night, she wasn’t dreading sitting down to eat.

He helped her dish up and carried the plates over to the table whilst she grabbed some glasses and the wine he had brought.

“So you don’t like Christmas then?” Previously, people had been so horrified that a girl in her early twenties was not interested in such a holiday, that his blasé manner shocked her. Not in a bad way, it was just a little different to what she was used to.

“It’s not that I dislike Christmas but more that I don’t actively like it.” Idly swirling her wine in her glass, she thought for a moment before continuing. “I think it’s because it has so much pressure attached to it and, as a kid, my mother always controlled Christmas to be undeniably perfect in her way, so when I moved out, I made Christmas my own.”

“And that is…” he prompted her to continue.

“I don’t know. Rather than doing everything I now do nothing. Christmas Eve is normally spent bingeing wine and TV and the day itself is spent eating chocolate and trying to avoid family.”

Now that she said it aloud, it seemed entirely pathetic. She couldn’t believe she had just openly admitted this to a stranger but there was something about Jughead’s mannerisms that made you trust him, like you could tell him anything.

“Well it seems to me,” he mused, finishing another mouthful of food, “no one has given you the options. No one has shown you what Christmas can be.”

What Betty hated was the idealistic, commercialised Christmas that everywhere pushed. Maybe he had a point. Maybe it wasn’t the holiday itself but who she was spending it with.

“I have a proposition.” Jughead leant forward so that he could properly engage his date. “Tomorrow you turn up at my house, or I’ll turn up at yours, your choice, and I’ll show you your options, I’ll try to teach you to love Christmas.” Slowly, his hand crept across the table and took one of Betty’s. As she thought, he traced circles on the back of her dainty hand.

“Fine.” Elated (and not really thinking about it) Jughead grabbed hold of her face and kissed her full-force. After realising what he had done, he retracted slightly, so there was a centimetre or so between their lips, but Betty didn’t move. Not quite understanding what had come over her, she followed her desires and took his lips again, this time in a much deeper kiss.

A few seconds later, they separated again and sat back in their seats - both slightly out of breath.

“Movie?” She suggested once they had collected themselves.

“Lead the way.”

A/N: Just a quick note to say happy Christmas Eve, my lovelies! I hope you have a joyous day and that Santa visits you tonight! This 12 days of drabbles has been a great experience for me because I haven’t spent days slaving over them (and some haven’t even been proofread!) but it has helped me gain confidence as well as exploring what the Riverdalians get up to over Christmas! I never quite like writing dialogue heavy fics but this is just that and I’m not sure I like it... let me know what you think and whether this is a style I could continue or if I should go back to what I know and love. All my love, Harry xx

#riverdaleevents #riverdale #betty cooper #jughead jones #bughead #bughead fic #harry’s creations and additions #harry’s word creations #findmeinpops 12 days of christmas

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pennypeabody · 6 years ago

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It's not impossible for Edgar to have a teenage daughter, but it's very unlikely given how young CMM looks. The Riverparents all look extremely good for their ages, but there's still no doubt who's the parent when they are with their children. Also, Evie looks nothing like Ed, and I doubt it's because she looks like her dead/absentee mom who's never been mentioned. Also, Evie being a teen wouldn't be weird cause lots of cults marry young girls to older men. She's also too involved for her age.

There’s so many different possibilities here.

• Evelyn is just a devoted cult wife

• Evelyn & Edgar are two Con artists working together

• They’re siblings

• They are legitimately father and daughter but still in on the con

I could go on but I think you get the picture.

Although it is possible for her to be his daughter, the show has made a point of making the parents all the same age and now they’ve stretched it to them being 50 (and I’m not going to go into that because it still annoys the hell out of me)

Evelyn speaks so highly of Edgar. It does not sound like someone talking about their father. She talks of him as if he’s some kind of prophet or someone she is devoted to. This could be an act to make sure that Alice and everyone else takes his teachings and his word to the same high degree.

From what I already know about cults, the leaders control literally everything about their followers. Evelyn could very well be under his spell too. But they’ve made her feel eerie when she’s on screen. The same happened with Chic, and later Hal when they were subtly trying to tell the audience not to trust them. That makes me feel like Evelyn isn’t a victim but is in on the whole thing. She’s also very adamant about recruiting new members. I’m guessing this isn’t the first town they’ve tried to take over like this. They want to bleed the vulnerable riverdalians of their money and resources, and hop onto the next town I’m guessing.

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jugheadvarchoni · 4 months ago

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👏 SHE 👏 MAKES 👏 HIM 👏 FEEL 👏 SAFE 👏

every varchie moment (40/♾️)

#varchie #archie andrews #veronica lodge #riverdale #riverdalians unite #follow me riverdalians

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jugheadvarchoni · 2 months ago

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My heart is ACHING I MISS CHONI & MADNESSA SO MUCH… 🥹💕

#riverdale #riverdalians #riverdalians unite #follow me riverdalians #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #madelaine petsch #vanessa morgan #choni #madnessa #my loves #i miss you #come back

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jugheadvarchoni · 4 months ago

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Woke up thinking about THIS Choni kiss… 😵‍💫🫶

#riverdale #choni #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #madelaine petsch #vanessa morgan #riverdalians #riverdalians unite #follow me riverdalians #wow…#one of their BEST kisses #good morning

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jugheadvarchoni · 4 months ago

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𝗥𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗦𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗛𝗼𝗴𝘄𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀

This was soooo fun, but also really difficult! All the characters at some point, display attributes from all the houses. Everyone has moments of immense bravery, they’re all loyal to someone(s), they all have their own creative or intellectual abilities, and they display ambition or determination in what they do.

The trick was for me to decide which traits I thought defined them the MOST. And who knows, maybe I’ll change my mind one day, but rn, I think I’m happy with these decisions.

As always, let me know what YOUR opinion is if you want. This is by no means an expert opinion. Just my own thoughts. ✌️

- ᴀʀᴄʜɪᴇ: ɢʀʏꜰꜰɪɴᴅᴏʀ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ʜᴜꜰꜰʟᴇᴘᴜꜰꜰ)

I think the biggest thing that pushes him into Gryffindor is his reckless chivalry. He doesn’t think about the consequences before doing something and is unable to acknowledge the affect of those decisions long-term (his vigilantism, for example). He’s constantly making choices that are completely reactionary and not ever really thought-out, sometimes to his own detriment. But it’s almost always for the right reason, at least in his eyes. His loyalty to the people he loves is a strong motivator, but so is his need to do the right thing. His moral compass is incredibly strong and not only dictates the decisions he makes (which can be misguided for sure… GRUNDY) but also the friends he keeps and people he associates with. He is very passionate about everything he does, especially music/poetry and football, which can fully encompass his entire being when he’s locked into them. There is a big piece of Hufflepuff in him, with his strong determination, loyalty to his friends, and hard-working mindset, mainly thanks to his father Fred. But I do think his recklessly brave, honest, and trusting personality just leans more heavily towards Gryffindor.

- ᴠᴇʀᴏɴɪᴄᴀ: ꜱʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ʀᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ)

Veronica is VERY ambitious and cunning, confident and self-reliant in almost everything she does. When she cares for people she cares for them HARD! But not everyone is deserving of that loyalty from her. Her resourcefulness and cleverness, which go hand in hand, is unmatched, even without her parents money. She’s always scheming and thinking on her feet (thus the Ravenclaw aspects: wise, analytical, and idealistic) especially when dealing with her father, which happens soooo much. BUT, her schemes are almost always motivated by a desire to do the right thing by those she loves. She’s ruthless (tho not in the same hard, flippant way Cheryl can be) because she is DRIVEN to always succeed at everything she sets her mind to, it’s how she was raised for better or for worse. Her tendency for success is greatly aided by her resilience, charm, and clever nature. She’s a Slytherin for sure, but more open-minded, accepting, and meticulous than stereotypes about Slytherin’s might say.

- ʙᴇᴛᴛʏ: ʜᴜꜰꜰʟᴇᴘᴜꜰꜰ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ)

Betty was kinda tough for me. She feels so different throughout every season. When it comes down to it though, I think her most defining attributes are how hard working she is, how fiercely she loves (even to a dangerous degree), and determined she is. She has a hunger for justice and finding the truth, TENACIOUS. She’s passionate about everything she sets her mind on doing and will see things through to the end. She’s smart like a Ravenclaw & sometimes reckless like a Gryffindor, but those don’t feel like defining characteristics for me. She could, however also be strongly considered for Slytherin as that hunger for justice can be seen as driven and determined, sometimes leading her to make ruthless decisions that hurt other people for her own gain or for the gain of her mission. Depending on the season, she does have a tendency to be very judgemental and deceptively manipulative or cruel. In the end tho, I think she is really just a workaholic, someone who just wants to do the right thing and see that people get what the deserve, an eye-for-an-eye sort of thing. She will do anything for the people she loves, ANYTHING. Fairness. Justice. Determination.

- ᴊᴜɢʜᴇᴀᴅ: ʀᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ)

Jughead is ECCENTRIC. He’s weird, he’s a weirdo. He doesn’t fit in, and he doesn’t want to fit in. He’s very much an introspective wall-flower, who is not only quite intelligent, but also wildly creative. He’s a writer, tortured soul, he’s cynical. An inquisitive mind if there ever was one! This can sometimes lead him down a dangerous and condescending path where he holds himself and others to too high of standards, and gets upset when they fall short. He can be vain and maybe a little pretentious sometimes because he’s passionate about what he does. He seeks justice through truth and observation, often for the greater good. Like a Slytherin tho, he uses his intelligence to achieve his goals and is VERY determined, to the point where he can sometimes lose himself in the mystery and let relationships fall to the wayside. He’s incredibly ambitious and self-reliant, but that is by far overshadowed by his curious and creative nature that often makes him the driving force for the shows’ entire narrative.

- ᴄʜᴇʀʏʟ: ꜱʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ɢʀʏꜰꜰɪɴᴅᴏʀ)

This one feels like kind of a no-brainer, because it’s what everyone says, but I actually think she’s more complicated than JUST being a Slytherin. Cheryl is confident! She’s ambitious and resilient, calculating, and can be very manipulative. Like Veronica, she’s a schemer. But her loyalty is INCREDIBLY selective. She trusts very few people in her life, but those she does, she gives her ALL to (see Toni & Jason) and she desperately wants to take care of them and be loved by them. She follows her own path, constantly trying to break out of her families’ dark, dark shadow. She is big on self-preservation and that can lead her to make selfish decisions that hurt others. BUT, I also think she has a major creative bone in her body that shines in the later seasons (she’s literally an artist). And I think a very strong case can be made for Gryffindor. She’s rebellious (especially against her family!), is stubborn as hell, proud to a fault, and can be quite boastful and arrogant. She IS red, it’s her aesthetic! In S6 & S7, she’s more reserved and kinder too, willing to give her life for the town. But in the end, her ambition, confidence, and ruthlessness to achieve her goals make her a Slytherin imo.

- ᴛᴏɴɪ: ʜᴜꜰꜰʟᴇᴘᴜꜰꜰ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ɢʀʏꜰꜰɪɴᴅᴏʀ)

This girl is LOYAL. Damn, is she loyal and patient and dependable. Toni is basically the textbook definition of a Hufflepuff. She has a crazy strong work ethic that stems from a prideful and practical personality. She may be one of the most responsible people on the show (forgetting about S6 and how they made her a bad mom). She’s giving and compassionate. She’s HONEST, not just to others, but with herself. She knows who she is and she’s doesn’t let anyone tell her otherwise. Her loyalty and kindness can sometimes get her into trouble tho, because she often lets people dictate or make decisions FOR her because she thinks it’s what they need (Cheryl & Anthony!). But I also think the Gryffindor in her is VERY overwhelming too. She’s rebellious, has a strong moral compass, is incredibly chivalrous, and very passionate about her hobbies and the people she loves. As a serpent, she is PROUD, overwhelmingly so. She takes pride in who she is and what she and the serpents stand for. I just believe her undying loyalty, patience, and dependability are what really makes her who she is.

- ʀᴇɢɢɪᴇ: ɢʀʏꜰꜰɪɴᴅᴏʀ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ)

Reggie is extremely proud, reckless and is not one to think before he acts. Emphasis on RECKLESS. He’s loud and boisterous, every bit the stereotypical jock, especially in the beginning. Like Cheryl, he’s part of a family legacy and grew up conceited, with all the wealth and power at his disposal. It made him cocky and made him THINK he could do whatever he wants (arrogance). He’s playful and likes to crack jokes and keep things light, sometimes not even on purpose. Like typical Slytherin’s, he’s confident and charming, finding ways to achieve his goals at any cost. However, unlike a Slytherin, I don’t think he is often shown to be very cunning or self-reliant. He’s not particularly clever or calculating, and is usually more of a follower than a leader. BUT, I think he’s very protective of those he loves, chivalrous, one might say. He’s stubborn and refuses to back down from the choices he and his friends make, even if it puts him in physical harm.

- ᴋᴇᴠɪɴ: ʜᴜꜰꜰʟᴇᴘᴜꜰꜰ (ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜɪɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ʀᴀᴠᴇɴᴄʟᴀᴡ)

Another tough one for me. I think his open-mindedness and kindness are what defines who he is and how he interacts with the people around him. His tolerance is motivated by his own life, by the way he’s grown up knowing he was gay and wanting to ensure nobody felt uncomfortable in who they are. Similar to Toni, he KNOWS who he is and is not ashamed to be that person. He’s often the moral support for his friends and just loves being around the people he cares about. He is proud, but not in a cocky way, like a Gryffindor would’ve. He has a full-fledged confidence in himself and the choices he makes, which can lend itself to being a Ravenclaw, as does his blindly accepting and loquacious nature. But his loyalty and unprejudiced outlook on life make him a definite Hufflepuff to me!

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